23.9.08

Fatalidade

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O carrilhão deu seis horas da tarde. O encosto da poltrona rangia contra a carcaça do velho Dr. Aristeu Salgado.

– Como assim, Dona Maria?

– Ela me persegue, doutor!

– Quem a persegue?

– Aquela facínora! – A velhinha tinha o vocabulário da novela na ponta da língua. – Aquela que todo mundo têm medo: a moça da foice!

– A “morte”, a senhora quis dizer?

– Essa mesma, doutor!

Era um caso muito curioso. O Dr. Aristeu viu-se subitamente remetido aos seus remotos tempos de Juqueri, quando tinha sob sua responsabilidade toda uma enfermaria de pobres diabos psicóticos. Quantos delírios de perseguição! Os desditados fugiam de Deus e do demônio, do papa e de Elvis Presley, do presidente e da polícia, das vozes e das sombras… Mas alguém perseguido pela morte em pessoa? Essa era novidade!

– Quantos anos a senhora tem, Dona Maria?

– 81, Doutor.

– 81… – Repetiu ele.

O psiquiatra, dois anos mais velho que a paciente, levantou sua múmia da poltrona e foi buscar alguma coisa numa estante arruinada pelos cupins. Os malditos siriris começavam a invadir a cidade àquela hora, e o velho médico foi obrigado a trancar as labaredas de calor do lado de fora do consultório. As tesourinhas e as traças assustaram com o estalo seco da janela e fugiram pela fresta da porta. A sala não tinha ar condicionado, e no ambiente abafado o carpete fedia, fermentando a sujeira acumulada de muitas décadas.

O psiquiatra pegou uma caixinha e voltou para se sentar à mesa.

– Este era um paciente meu. Dona Maria, Zé Miolo. Zé Miolo, Dona Maria. – Ele os apresentou.Era um cérebro em conserva numa caixinha de acrílico com formol, cinzento e feio como uma uva passa mofada; no hemisfério esquerdo, um rombo do tamanho de uma laranja indicava a causa provável da morte.

– Se eu não me engano, o Zé Miolo tinha seus 44 anos quando esta tragédia lhe aconteceu. Praticamente um menino. – Lamentou ele. – Ele viveu alguns meses como um vegetal, hoje é um peso de papel muito bom. Pobre rapaz!

A velhinha apertou a risquinha vermelha que ela tinha por lábios. Que importava a morte do Zé Miolo?

– O que eu quero dizer, Dona Maria, é que na sua idade a senhora já devia saber que também vai morrer. – Ele profetizou com toda a delicadeza que não tinha. – A morte é um privilégio de todos! Diga, o que a senhora acha que tem de tão especial?

Os olhos da velhinha viraram olhões por trás das rodelinhas das lentes bifocais.

– Está desdenhando de mim, doutor! O senhor não está entendendo nada! Pois eu vou lhe contar o que eu tenho passado esses anos todos, tim tim por tim tim!

O Dr. Aristeu se acomodou. Alguma coisa estalou, talvez a poltrona, talvez o esqueleto.

– A primeira coisa que eu me lembro aconteceu quando eu era menina, na década de 30. Foi numa tarde cinzenta com cheiro de tempestade. Quando o aguaceiro desmoronou, minha mãe correu para cobrir os espelhos, meu pai correu para fechar as janelas, e eu escapuli pela lavanderia para buscar a boneca que tinha esquecido no quintal. Lembro que de ter ouvido a porta batendo, papai correndo atrás de mim com a cinta na mão, um estrondo do tamanho do mundo, um clarão, uma explosão, fogo e cheiro de queimado. Quando eu me virei para dar uma olhadela, papai tinha virado churrasquinho! O raio o levou.

– Foi um trauma para a senhora, eu imagino.

– Mas foi só o começo! Alguns anos depois, em 1938, foi a minha irmã Zulmira. Naquela época nós morávamos na Mooca, e mamãe sempre nos levava nas matinês do Cine Oberdan, aquele do Brás. Eu era bem nova, tinha 12 anos, e – o senhor sabe – naquela época as pessoas iam ao cinema de terno e gravata, as mulheres iam de chapéu, luva, bolsa… Eu lembro que nós entramos no cinema, sentamos, o filme começou, mas eu não consegui assistir, doutor. Eu não podia assistir porque a mulher que estava sentada na minha frente usava um chapéu deste tamanho! – Ela sacudiu um metro de vazio com as mãozinhas encarquilhadas. – E eu fiquei com raiva e comecei a desfolhar as flores do chapéu dela. Foi quando mamãe me deu um beliscão, gritando: “Pára, Maria! Você é fogo, menina!” Aí o senhor já viu! Alguém assustou e começou a gritar: “fogo!” E deu naquela correria toda, as pessoas sendo pisoteadas… Um horror! Trinta crianças morreram esmagadas como baratas. Trinta e mais minha irmã Zulmira.

O psiquiatra ficou olhando para ela em silêncio, as duas taturanas grisalhas estremecendo no limiar da testa.

– Bom, e o senhor vai me perguntar: o quê vem depois? Depois eu virei moça, comecei a trabalhar, juntei dinheiro para comprar nossa primeira televisão no Mappin, em vinte e quatro prestações – a mesma TV que matou mamãe alguns anos depois, quando caiu da estante. E eu me casei, doutor. Casei com o meu finado marido em 1950, na Igreja de São Paulo Apóstolo, no Belenzinho. No fim da cerimônia, minha sogra tropeçou na cauda do meu vestido e saiu rolando escadaria abaixo. Na semana seguinte, estávamos todos lá na Igreja de novo, para a missa de sétimo dia da dita cuja. Depois disso não aconteceu nada realmente catastrófico, nada que eu me lembre. Eu tive dois filhos e trabalhei como secretária por muitos anos. E nesses anos as tragédias foram só pequenas tragédias: alguém que morria atropelado logo atrás de mim, alguma pedra que caía da construção e acertava a cabeça de alguém andando ao lado, um carro que batia no poste pelo qual eu acabava de passar; coisas assim…

– E então vieram grandes tragédias?

– Pois é doutor! Eu quero mostrar ao senhor a minha carteira de trabalho.

E ela tirou da sua bolsinha preta com fecho de bolinhas uma carteira azul carcomida pelas traças. O Dr. Aristeu deixou os óculos escorrerem até a ponta do nariz para analisar as folhas amareladas com seus olhinhos opacos de catarata.

– Secretária das Casas Pirani até 1972.

– Avenida São João com a Rua Pedro Américo. – Confirmou a velhinha, sorridente.O nome do prédio estava na ponta da língua, mas o psiquiatra sofria para encontrá-lo em seus arquivos mnemônicos de 83 anos.

– Edifício Andraus. Eu estava lá quando começou o incêndio, doutor. Mas não é tudo, vire a página.

Ele virou.

– E depois trabalhou em um escritório na… na Rua Santo Antônio!

– Edifício Joelma.

As taturanas arquearam em espanto.

– A senhora tem uma biografia notável, Dona Maria!

Ela assentiu com um riso triste.

– Eu não sei que coincidências são essas, doutor, mas é tragédia demais perto de uma pessoa só. Foram dezesseis mortos no Andraus, quase duzentos no Joelma! Eu vi tudo acontecendo muito de perto, e algo me diz que a primeira fagulha, de um jeito ou de outro, partiu de mim. Eu fumava naquela época.

– A senhora se sente culpada?

Uma lágrima intrometida saiu rolando sem pedir licença.

– Ah, doutor… No começo eu achava que o problema era meu, mas chega a ser tão absurdo que hoje eu me sinto a maior vítima de todo esse azar.

Ela limpou a lágrima, fungou, suspirou, assoou o nariz e prosseguiu:

– Depois disso eu resolvi me aposentar, me afastei de tudo: da igreja, das festas da vizinhança, das reuniões de família, deixei de ir ao supermercado, deixei de ir à feira, deixei de sair… Eu me sepultei em casa. Fui uma morta-viva por anos e anos! Mas ela vinha atrás de mim, doutor! Aquela salafrária estava sempre me rondando! Eu não precisava sair de casa para a desgraça acontecer: era a panela de pressão que caía em cima do cachorro, era a vizinha que tropeçava e batia a cabeça no meu portão, uma criança que despencava da árvore e se estatelava na minha calçada, um carro que batia bem em frente à minha casa… Por anos e anos! Até que eu cheguei à conclusão de que não adiantava eu me trancar, ela viria atrás de mim onde eu estivesse.

Zé Miolo e o Dr. Aristeu estavam absorvidos na narrativa. Tanto que o psiquiatra nem se deu conta quando um siriri caiu e ficou grudado no suor de sua careca.

– Até que a vida me deu netos, doutor! E os netos, os netos nos obrigam a viver!

Dona Maria buscou na bolsinha as fotos das crianças e deixou-as orgulhosamente em cima da mesa para que o médico as visse.

– Depois que os meus netos nasceram, eu passei a sair mais do meu esconderijo e ir à casa da minha filha em Osasco para ver as crianças. E o senhor sabe como são essas crianças da cidade, elas querem ir passear no shopping! Pois bem, um dia nós fomos ao shopping na hora do almoço. Pra quê? Aquele estrondo, aquela correria, o susto, o teto caindo… – Ela fez o sinal da cruz. – Acho que o senhor já sabe do que eu estou falando, não é?

– A senhora não vai me dizer que também estava lá!

– Pois é, doutor! Nessa foram mais de 40 pessoas, meu Deus! As crianças ficaram terrivelmente assustadas, mas estão bem, estão bem. Minha filha não entendeu porque eu nunca mais fui visitá-la. Ela deve ter ficado triste de ver a mãe fugindo das visitas de família. Eu só não queria que nada ruim acontecesse aos meus netos.

Zé Miolo deixou escapar uma bolhinha de piedade por ela.

– Mas as coisas pioraram muito depois disso, doutor! Um dia, poucos meses depois do acidente com o shopping, eu me aventurei a sair de casa para ir comprar pão na padaria da esquina. Enquanto eu comprava os meus pãezinhos, ouvi um estrondo horrível! Um estrondo que até me lembrou o raio que matou papai. E quando eu voltei pra casa, eu não tinha mais casa, o sobradinho no Jabaquara em que eu morei durante 45 anos da minha vida não existia mais! Um avião caiu bem em cima dele e matou o meu Alonso e outras cem pessoas!

Nesse ponto ela parou. Uma romaria de lágrimas cedeu sob o nome do marido. O Dr. Aristeu estava compungido, tão penalizado que sentiu amolecer aquela coisinha palpitante ligada ao marca-passo. Inadvertidamente, o doutor rabugento revelou-se um velhinho babão, e esboçou um gesto inédito nos seus 60 anos de psiquiatria: segurou a mão da paciente! Dona Maria se emocionou com a gentileza e sorriu para o médico, tímida.

– Eu fui vivendo, como o senhor vê. Todas essas tragédias passaram por mim como uma tempestade, levando centenas de pessoas embora, sem me deixar um único arranhão! Às vezes eu acho que essa malfeitora da foice gosta de brincar comigo, doutor. Eu arrumei outra casinha, bem pequenininha, e nela eu me escondo do mundo tentando evitar outros estragos. A gente chega numa idade que ninguém mais liga pra gente; a família esquece, a sociedade ignora, a gente fica invisível e nem o atendente do INSS enxerga. Eu tinha esperanças de que aquela destrambelhada fosse me esquecer também, mas parece que ela não quer deixar essa velha em paz! Há algumas semanas atrás minha filha foi me levar para fazer uns exames lá na zona oeste. Da janela da clínica nós vimos as ambulâncias chegando, os bombeiros, a polícia, a multidão… Uma cratera gigante apareceu no lugar onde eu tinha passado quinze minutos antes e tragou as pessoas que andavam na rua! Foi triste, doutor.

A velhinha estava cabisbaixa, sua mãozinha encrespada apertando a mão fria do médico. Zé Miolo apreciava a cena, comovido.

– Por isso eu me chamo Maria das Cruzes, e vou carregando a cruz até que a cruz me carregue. Eu não entendo que sorte é essa que a vida me deu, mas com certeza não é sorte alguma, é um tremendo de um azar, uma maldição! Eu sei que aquela desgraçada vai me pegar um dia, eu não tenho delírios de imortalidade como o senhor pensou. Eu estou bem lúcida! Ela vai me pegar e eu até torço para que seja logo, porque dói muito no coração ver essas catástrofes acontecendo debaixo do meu nariz, ver as pessoas sofrendo, e saber que é essa minha sorte infeliz desgraçando tudo! Nesses 81 anos eu nunca contei minha história a ninguém, nem ao padre da paróquia, só ao senhor, doutor. Eu sei que estou no fim, sei que não vou muito longe, mas até que a maledeta me encontre ela vai continuar aprontando das suas! Por isso, enquanto o Alzheimer não vem, tudo o que eu queria do senhor é um remedinho que me ajudasse a esquecer. É estranho, quando a gente fica velho tem medo de perder a memória, ficar gagá, e essa velha vem aqui pedir justamente pra ficar desmemoriada! Mas entenda que eu só quero um pouquinho de sossego no fim da vida. Então, se o senhor puder, por obséquio, me receitar um remedinho pra dormir em paz, doutor… doutor?…….. doutor?……………………………..



Este texto foi originalmente publicado no site Novas Visões de São Paulo.

97 comentários:

Giseli Ramos disse...

Que azar do doutor hein... mas já tava na hora, hehehe. Que humor negro :)

Romeu Martins disse...

Pra vc ver, quando eu li este conto pela primeira vez, não acreditei logo quem usando humor politicamente incorreto...

Christie disse...

Romeu, obrigada pelo post. Irei listar os links para contos no meu blog e direcionar a criançada para cá.

E me poupe do "logo quem" e desse papo furado de diferenças ideológicas que eu pensava estar sepultado. Deixa os mortos onde estão, dá pra ser?

Romeu Martins disse...

Tsc, tsc...

Quem tá falando de ideologia, criança?

Tô falando de estilo, de pegada literária...

Acho que a mania de perseguição ainda não foi vencida, pelo jeito.

Helena disse...

hehehe eu se fosse este doutor já tinha corrido na primeira história - por via das dúvidas, a via da dúvida hehe

Gostei muito, o talento da Christie em humor negro da melhor qualidade.

Parabéns aos dois,

merrel

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Beijão, merrel

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Risquinha vermelha que tinha por lábios..

Alguma coisa estalou, talvez a poltrona, talvez o esqueleto...

Ela sacudiu um metro de vazio com as mãozinhas encarquilhadas...

Parabéns é pouco. Texto ousado e envolvente. Literatura de qualidade.

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